“Feel the fear and do it anyway” Susan Jeffers
How many events in life have caused you fear? How many times have you turned down opportunities for fear of the outcomes?
Many fears hold us back in life, but fear is a natural part of life. It’s part of our ancestral make-up, the inner checking mechanism that our ancestors had to perceive whether a situation was dangerous or life threatening.
However, fear can also arise in situations that are unknown to us and push us outside our comfort zone. Fear in general life, particularly fear of failure, fear of things not going to plan or fear of what people might think of us, can really hold us back from achieving a fulfilling and rewarding life.
Over the years I’ve had to confront many fears and really push myself to overcome them and tackle things or events that would have been so easy to say “no” to, to stay in my comfort zone.
This past year, I’ve had to really push myself to explore new ways of working and putting myself “out there” in ways that I would never have done before, and it’s not been easy.
It’s the scenarios that one builds up in one’s head. The nagging voice that says, “you can’t do that, what will people think, you haven’t got the ability, the resources, no-one will be interested, what happens if it fails”.
The need to assert to oneself that “I can do this” rather than “I can’t”. Yet once you’ve pushed yourself through the situation or event it’s been “why did I ever doubt I could do it” or “what a great experience, so glad I did it”.
It’s the fear of failure that stops us from taking those action steps and stepping into a negative mindset, rather than looking at what the positive outcomes may be. The great thing is, once you conquer your fear and go ahead with whatever it is that causes those doubts, afterwards you will know that if ever that event or situation arises again you will be able to get through it successfully. Even if things don’t work out the way you planned you will learn by your mistakes.
When things go right, it will build character and confidence and the knowingness that you have the ability to be able to tackle those challenges successfully in the future.
Wayne Dyer used the phrase “change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”. Try looking at things differently. What would happen if those events or scenarios you feared actually made a difference to your life and changed it for the better? Or you developed a newfound skill that you could take further or share with others. What would happen if you went through those fearful events and positively changed your life for the better or the lives of others around you?
It’s very easy to say no, so much harder to say yes. What would you say “yes” to? How will it enhance your life, move you forward? How stuck will your life be if you said “no” to every opportunity that comes your way?
Try visualisations to see yourself in your minds eye as unafraid. Play the scenario in your head and run through not what could go wrong, but what could go right. See yourself as confident and courageous. When the event happens feel and act as if you are confident, stand up straight, smile and act with confidence.
When faced with fear, be aware of all the facts but maintain a belief in a positive outcome no matter what the circumstances. If you feel fear taking over physically, take a few deep breaths whilst reassuring to yourself that everything will be just fine.
Take some time to write down and look at what fears have held you back. What have you always wanted to do yet fear has held you back? Next, think about what would happen if you said yes and put those desires into action. Then plan your action steps and set into motion your desired outcomes to realise those dreams with confidence.